I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person


I am not the first person you loved. You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers. We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin. Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night. Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come. I think that has to be part of its miracle. This is how we heal. I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you. And I will not be afraid of your scars. I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know: whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I will love you when you are a still day. I will love you when you are a hurricane. will remember the kisses, our lips raw with love and how you gave me everything you had and how I offered you what was left of me, and I will remember your small room, the feel of you, the light in the window, your records, your books our morning coffee, our noons, our nights, our bodies spilled together sleeping, the tiny flowing currents immediate and forever, your leg, my leg,


 your arm, my arm, your smile, and the warmth of you who made me laugh again.If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you. I want to be craved by you. I want you to think about kissing me as much as I think about kissing you You consume my heart and my every thought, but yet, I want to be consumed more by you. The dreams we have will keep us warm. But the first kiss is when will begin take off your clothes. show me your edges. I want to see with my own eyes where you end and where I begin.I want to see where I fit, where you leave off being you and turn into me.The smell of your hair, the taste of your mouth, the feeling of your skin seemed to have got inside me, or into the air all around me. you had become a physical necessity I am addicted to you. I have tasted your mind, and I cannot forget its flavour.

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